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B'nei Mitzvah FAQ

Your B'nei Mitzvah Date:

When your child is in 5th grade, our Director of Engagement, Programming, and Membership, Carol Sleeper, will provide you with a date suitable for your child's service and celebration. If you want to make a request, please keep in mind that dates will be assigned on a first-come, first-serve basis. Due to the size of our congregation, two children may share the same Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, with one celebration occurring in the morning, and the other in the afternoon. Services, however, are not shared. We will do our best to work with parents to find a date that works for their family. In order to allow students to attend their friends’ celebrations, we endeavor to avoid assigning the same date to students who attend the same school.

Families will receive their date in the spring of fifth grade. New families with children in 6th grade should contact Carol to arrange a date after their child has had their Hebrew skills evaluated by the Religious School.

Synagogue Ettiquette:

Temple Beth Am’s Photography Policy on Shabbat —while videography is allowed in the main sanctuary, we ask that no flash photography take place during the ceremony. Photography and videography should not interfere with clergy on the bima nor interrupt the flow of the service. This will enhance the worship experience for all in attendance. Families wishing to take photos prior to the event may do so one and a half hours prior to the event the day of, or contact the main office to arrange a time.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family is required to sponsor the bima flowers for Shabbat. These flowers are for the beautification of the bima and as such are to be left on the bima. The Sisterhood of Temple Beth Am will arrange flowers for you. Please contact Eileen Ogrin at to make arrangements for the bima flowers. 

For information on dietary policy, catering, and holding your party in our facilities please contact the main office. If a room is available, and you would like to hold a Friday night dinner, extended kiddish, or afternoon or evening party on the weekend of your celebration, it may be reserved through Carol Sleeper.

Appropriate attire must be worn by all who go up on the bima. Our sanctuary is a sacred space and we ask those who enter to dress respectfully.

Cell Phones
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah has worked hard to prepare prior to leading a Service from the bima, please respect them and the sanctity of the occasion by turning off phones or putting them in silent mode, and refrain from texting during the Service.

Announcement in the Scribe
A short biography including a description of your child’s mitzvah project and a picture of your child are due to Margot Hauser, Executive Administrative Assistant, by the 10th of the month preceding the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Please note that Bar/Bat Mitzvah announcement may also appear in the Jewish Voice and the Temple website. Email Margot to obtain deadlines for these publications.

Non-Jewish Guests
Everyone is welcome to join in your family’s celebration.

Special Needs
We believe every child who so wishes, can become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Our staff will work with you to accommodate the special needs of your child so that they have a meaningful and successful experience.


A total fee of $1,400 is required of all B’nei Mitzvah families. One half of this fee must be paid at least six months prior to the event. All financial commitments to the Temple must be up to date no later than three months prior to the event. A payment schedule can be arranged as needed.

Included in this fee are the following services:

Lessons with Rabbinic Intern, Cantorial Soloist, Rabbi
Educational Materials
Friday Night Oneg Shabbat sponsorship (please inform the office in advance if you are bringing additional guests)
Saturday morning Kiddish (wine and challah only, luncheon not included)
Set up/clean up/tear down/building fees

Not included in the fees:
Flowers - for the bima, these are required and arranged through Sisterhood (see above)
Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund - donation in appreciation is customary
Music Fund - donation in appreciation is customary
Custodian Gratuity- gratuity is customary

Fri, June 9 2023 20 Sivan 5783